Critical Self-Assessment Questions that Parents must Ask Themselves.

As a child, we were all highly influenced by our parents. They’re our role models for most of our lifetime. So, for parents, it becomes necessary to portray a good example for us to follow. The important fact is that they’re also just humans and it’s a basic human tendency to make a few mistakes. To avoid the recurrence of these mistakes one has to go through a process of self-assessment. A healthy way of self-assessment and improvement is asking the right kind of questions to ourselves. In this article, we will discuss How parents should do critical self-assessment by doing the right kind of self cross-examination. And what kind of questions should one ask while proceeding with this.

• Parents are the most influential people in a young child’s life. They basically create a model of themselves as they teach children certain behavior, habits, mentality, and emotional intelligence.
• It becomes critical for parents to create a healthy environment for a growing child.
• Asking the right kind of questions is the way to go for having a good self-assessment.
• creating a healthy emotional home environment is essential especially when a child is young and still comprehending new information.

Here is A list of some critical self-assessment questions that parents must ask themselves:

1) What Kind of information did you receive as a child?

• Before passing on any kind of information or message to your child parents first ask themselves if they received the right kind of message themselves. What We accumulate as a child will form our inherent emotional process and indirectly we will feed the same information to our children.

Examples of such questions are:

Were you caring and sympathetic as a child? Or if you were irresponsible and sympathetic as a child?

• Reflecting on such kinds of questions can bring you a lot of clarity and self-awareness for continuing a healthy parenting style.
• Once you start analyzing your own childhood pattern the chance of repeating the same errors with your children becomes really less.

2) What kind of treatment did you receive from your parents as a child?

• One needs to question the parenting style of their own parents and analyze the loopholes if any.
• Self-assessment questions like:

Did your parents respect you when you were a child? Or did they treat you with disrespect when you were a child?

• assessment of how that behavior affects our own behavior towards our children is a hugely positive step towards self-growth and good parenting.
• Digging deeper into such questions will help you grow from any trauma or emotional baggage you still might be carrying due to the treatment received by your parents.
• Calling yourself out for disrespectful behavior is the biggest sign of emotional development as one decides to give respect even to your children.

3) Was ‘Guilt’ used as a weapon by parents to make children do things that ‘they’ wanted you to do?

• As children, we can’t really define our path to a righteous way of living. So, we look up to our parents for guidance and suggestions.
• But sometimes parents may not be aware, they start using guilt trips to influence the children into doing something which naturally is not in the child’s own interest.
• For ruling out this behavior one must ask themselves if they were forced to do things under guilt trip as they were a child.
• also, Include such questions like:

1. a) How did guilt-tripping affect you?
2. b) what could you currently do to not force your child into doing something under the influence of guilt?
3. c) How will it affect your child in the long run?
4. d) What are the negative effects of motivating a child into doing things under guilty?

• Guilt Tripping can affect your child in the worst ways.
• Self-awareness can help to resolve this issue.

4) How do you feel about the parenting mistakes your parents made when you were young? And how did that influence your own parenting style now?

• Analyzing the mistakes your parents made while you were growing up can help you find the right answers from their mistakes.
• One should also look forward to the emotional effects that mistakes bring on your mindset.
• Just identifying loopholes won’t be an answer but an important question here arises is:

If you are able to forgive your parents for leaving those loopholes?

• growth and healing of oneself happen by forgiving, accepting, and rectifying the error of past parental behavior.
• With self-awareness, a Parent can improve the quality of parenthood and ensure an emotionally healthy child.

Also read: Children can be Taught Values in a Variety of Ways

FAQs:

1) How do you replenish yourself from an unhealthy parenting style?

Ans: One of the most important factors in recovering from any parental trauma is the way to Identity and then Forgive them for doing the same.

• Moving on is one of the best methods to recover from a bad parenting style.
• Recognition of the mistakes might be draining for most parents but the growth that comes after that is very emotionally & mentally fulfilling.
• For their child, any parent would try to resolve the quest and try to let go of the toxic traits that one might have to inherit from their own parents.

2) Which is the most prevalent way for making your child choose things he/she is inherently not willing to choose?

Ans: Guilt-tripping is the most common way to make the child gullible towards a decision or pathway he/she might not be willing towards.

• This is an unhealthy parental strategy. Identifying this loophole is essential for the mental growth of a child.
• For ruling out this behavior one must ask themselves if they were forced to do things under guilt trip as they were a child.
• also, Include such questions like:

3) How will the below-given questions strengthen parents’ bonds with their children?

How did guilt-tripping affect you?

Ans: The above-mentioned questions are well thought out and versed.

• Self-assessment through these questions will not only improve the parenting style for better but also help in personal development in general.
• The fact is that parents are also just humans and it’s a basic human tendency to make a few mistakes. To avoid the recurrence of these mistakes one has to go through a process of self-assessment.
• There is no better way to quiz yourself than to form meticulous questions about internal traumas that happened in your childhood that your parents did.
• But remember the key to moving on is identifying, accepting, and forgiving your parents for making a few mistakes because nobody is perfect.

CONCLUSION

These self-awareness questions are not very easy to answer. In the process of finding answers to them, a person can reclaim many sweet and sour memories of childhood. Some might be even painful but for inner spiritual development, these are the right emotions to ponder over. Feel free to take help from your friends, family, and close ones while going through the memory lanes to find answers. Personal development of parents is equally important as a child becomes the reflection of his/her parents. An emotionally stable parent will definitely raise an emotionally stable child.

Hope this article helps you out in many ways for a good shot at amazing parenting!